She opens her eyes and gazes into mine.
I admire the beauty that looks at me,
But I see more than meets the eye.
I see deep wells of inspiration,
Pieces of unheard music lie there,
Untold stories call out to me.
[These last three lines feel more metaphorical, while the next two lines are less so, i want to separate or distinguish them somehow ...]
Deep inside are unpainted masterpieces,
Surely waiting for release. [This is less abstract because she is actually a painter...]
Safety of finally arriving home,
Inviting and so very sensual,
And innocent happiness dwells there as well.[These ideas seem to contrast each other, but not completely, I would like to reword it somehow to make more sense and flow better]
I find myself feeling very alive and drawn.
Like a small child staring into the sun,
I feel compelled to not look away.
Shall I too go blind gazing through your windows?
Perhaps not, still the sun it fails to win
When it competes to melt me like they do.
Still captivated, I wish her sweet dreams
As she closes shut her angelic eyes. [this also does not flow well i feel, not sure how to change though]
any all constructive criticism or advice welcome, thank you